A nanny, chef, house manager, or personal assistant who has been with a family for years understands its rhythms, preferences, and expectations in a way that cannot easily be replicated. Unnecessary turnover can be costly not only financially, but also in terms of time, energy, and overall morale. Long-term relationships benefit the wider household, creating greater stability for family members, other employees, and trusted vendors. While no employer can guarantee that a valued member of staff will stay indefinitely, thoughtful management can make a significant difference to job satisfaction and retention.
Build a Strong Foundation
A strong working relationship begins with a clear understanding of the role. Thoughtful onboarding, written expectations, and appropriate training can prevent misunderstandings later on. Where possible, allow a new employee time to learn from the person they are replacing, particularly when the position involves detailed household routines or specialised responsibilities. Staff should also have access to the tools, technology, and information they need to do their jobs well, as well as a clear understanding of whom to approach with questions or concerns. It is best practice to have a household manual in place for staff to consult, as well as to provide a clear contract and summary of expectations at the time of hire.
Offer Fair Compensation and Sustainable Schedules
Competitive compensation is fundamental to retaining excellent staff. Families should understand the market rate for each position and ensure that employees are paid appropriately for their responsibilities, hours, and overtime. Domestic staffing agencies can advise as to local rates when needed. Consistency matters, too. For most staff, it is appropriate to agree on a minimum number of paid weekly hours, even when the family is travelling or spending time away from home. This financial stability helps encourage longevity and good will.
A sustainable schedule is equally important. Staff need adequate time to rest and recharge, including regular days off and appropriate holiday time. After particularly demanding periods with increased overtime, such as the summer months in the Hamptons or the busy holiday season, consider offering an extra day or two off as a thank you. These small gestures make staff feel appreciate for their hard work and help prevent burnout.
Offer Tangible Benefits
Benefits can make a meaningful difference to an employee's experience of their job. Depending on the position and circumstances, health insurance, transportation assistance, professional development, meals, or support with late-night after-work travel can all be valuable. The most effective benefits are often those that respond thoughtfully to the realities of an employee's life rather than simply adding perks for their own sake. Small gestures like a good meal and a paid car ride home after a long night make employees feel respected and appreciated. In some areas, families often offer wellness and fertility benefits, as well.
Communicate Clearly and Regularly
Households evolve, and staff responsibilities often evolve with them. A family may acquire a second home, welcome another child, take on a new pet, or begin travelling more frequently. Rather than assuming that an employee will automatically absorb new responsibilities, discuss changes openly and establish new expectations together. Where a role has materially expanded, compensation should be reviewed accordingly.
Regular check-ins can also provide an opportunity for both employer and employee to give feedback, raise concerns, and address small issues before they become larger ones.
Respect Time Off
Household staff may be essential to keeping a home running smoothly, but they should still be able to disconnect when they are not working. Personal assistants and house managers, in particular, may be accustomed to being highly responsive, but families should have a clear plan for handling responsibilities when they are away. Unless something is truly urgent, allow employees to enjoy their time off without feeling that they remain on call, especially during holidays. When employees are responsive during their time off, be sure to acknowledge and appreciate their work.
Encourage Professional Development
Supporting an employee's professional development can benefit both the individual and the household. Consider offering a stipend or paid time for relevant courses, workshops, certifications, or other training. A nanny who develops new educational or childcare skills, for example, may bring those skills back to the family, while a chef or house manager may benefit from opportunities to expand their expertise.
Recognise Good Work
Thoughtful recognition does not need to be elaborate. A sincere thank you, handwritten note, birthday card, or small gift can communicate genuine appreciation, particularly when it is personal rather than routine. During busy periods, practical gestures can be equally meaningful: offer an earlier finish before a holiday, arrange additional help after a large event, or give staff an evening to themselves after an extended period of travel.
For families who value continuity, the goal is not simply to keep good employees. It is to create a household in which excellent people feel respected, supported, and able to build a rewarding long-term working relationship with the family.
